the smedley log - suburban scrawl

Blue-collar tips

I’m amazed at how many people I’ve met don’t seem to comprehend the concept of tipping, especially among those who dine out regularly. (NOTE: To be fair, a lot of people get confused about how much to actually tip; I’m not referring to them, but rather to folks who are intentionally stingy with their restaurant gratuities, often treating servers as if they were trained pets.)

There are things I’ve overheard in restaurants from nearby tables where people will complain the waiter didn’t smile enough, or didn’t laugh at their attempts at humor—thus the tip will only be five or ten percent (or worse, nothing at all). I’m always initially startled when I hear comments like, ” Why tip? They’re just doing what they’re supposed to do.”

Regrettably, I’ve never gotten around to informally surveying the people I hear saying these things. I always want to ask if they know that the wait staff minimum wage is typically half the actual minimum wage. Federally speaking, that amounts to, oh, 2.58 per hour. And if that’s all the server in your section of the restaurant is getting, I’d say you’re not entitled to anything beyond the bare minimum either (as far as service goes—though there are some out there with the exceptional energy to make up for even the most inconsiderate patron).

Unfortunately, due to some people’s attitudes on tipping, it’s as if wait staff employees are among a special class of Americans who only deserve what your average teenage fast food worker makes if they jump through hoops. Interestingly, and I’m sure it has more to do with the restaurant lobby than anything else, most wait staff employees really do depend on customers just to make the bare legal minimum, as if making the minimum wage should be considered such an achievement. And they’re often taxed in their paychecks as if they are making the minimum (whether or not they do).

Even if your food came out cold, late, or was in some other way messed up; even if your server wasn’t chatting it up with you all night. There can be other contributing factors, often beyond your server’s control, for poor food quality or untimely service. And like any other stranger you come across, you never know what kind of horrible day your server may be having. If that somehow makes you feel like you have a right to reduce your server’s wages to sweatshop level, please reconsider.

My point? Show a little compassion. Tip your waiters and waitresses well. Try starting at 15% (for only the worst dining experience), and working with a sliding scale that has a decent meal raking in around 20% for the hardworking server who’s probably already getting stiffed by a quarter of his or her customers anyway.

For more blogging on this subject, read Jess’s post

I was a waitress in my late teens and early twenties. People don’t realize that food servers only get paid through tips. I’ve always tipped twenty percent or more. I think that it’s a good idea to double the first digit on your bill and leave that amount plus a little extra.

There is nothing more disappointing than serving a large party with a bill over 100 dollars and finding a five dollar tip that should have been at least 20 bucks. Tacky is the word that comes to mind for those kind of people.

I always try to tip as much as I can afford to which is usually 20%, 25% if they were really kick ass. I can only recall almost stiffing the server once. She was absolutely atrocious. We were a party of about 12 in an almost empty TGI Fridays, the largest party there by at least 3x. It seemed as if we were the only table in her section too as there was at least one other server going around to the other [smaller] tables. 30 minutes until we got our menus. Another 30 minutes for a round of water. Another 30 minutes for the drinks we ordered [it was my friend’s 20th birthday]. So that’s about 1.5 hours for stuff that should have taken 30 minutes. After the food arrived [another solid hour later] she immediately gave us the check. In our party there were about 4 people who were servers themselves and one of them a manager at a nice restaurant in town. They were all shocked.

I only tip under 15% when it seems like the server is really going out of his/her way to just be a dick about things. Shit, if you’re having a bad day, tell me! I’d rather uderstand what’s going on and be understanding of the situation than assume you’re a dick. But that’s a rarity and I can only recall one such instance in all my years of dining out.

Being a server doesn’t always guarantee compassion for other servers I suppose, but my approach usually is geared toward not giving repeat business to establishments that severely undercut my basic expectations—I’d rather not make the server pay for it.

Speaking of group outings, I’ve been in groups of a dozen or more, and I’ve also waited on them. Knowing you Albert, I’m sure your group was well-mannered and non-combative, but even well-mannered groups are difficult sometimes.

One time, when stopping off at TGI Friday’s after work, I noticed that the members of our dining party who were especially atrocious toward the waitress were also the ones tending toward a stingy tip. One of them bragged that since he had waited on tables he could certify as to what a horrible job she was doing. I replied that I had also waited a few tables, and I thought his assessment was far less than fair. When we started dividing up the bill, I made sure to put in an extra five, partially to compensate for a couple people who vocally promised not to leave anything beyond the amount of their actual food and drink total.

My mistake was putting my money in early, because when we had all the cash totaled up, it was as if I’d added nothing extra. For a ninety dollar check, we had a grand total of just under 95 dollars. Some of the people in our group seemed pleased with their own lack of generosity. After lobbying unsuccessfully for them to ante up, I got a couple of the others who weren’t being so clueless about the situation and we pooled an extra twenty bucks between 3 of us, which we gave to the waitress out of earshot of our stingier counterparts. It still didn’t amount to that great a tip (considering the difficulty she’d had trying to please us), but at least she hadn’t wasted 90 minutes of her life for only 5%.

And Jess, I’d like to think that you had a little more success getting a decent tip level (at least from the men), but then sometimes the larger tips left by customers who just want to flirt with you can make their generosity seem very well-earned.

I used to deliver pizzas so I started practicing “tip karma”… tip well, and you’ll be tipped in return…. now I just tip well.

Generally 15% is the bareminimum I tip. That’s for what I’d consider “mediocre” service. Mostly centered around keeping a glass not empty…. for minutes.

For the most part it’s a sliding scale from 10% (rare) for atrocious to 25% or even 30% for simply exemplary service. But I average around 20% rounded up to the nearest dollar.

Part of the problem is that many people are ignorant about what’s “normal” for tipping and what isn’t. Growing up, I was taught that 15% was the standard: you only went less if the server was atrocious. When I began to eat out more, I generally rounded my tips upward of 15% to get even dollar amounts.

A few weeks ago, one of the ladies in my classes who works as a TGIF waitress told me that 20% is the standard nowadays, which seems pretty high if you’re stingy, but I suppose makes sense.

Still, tipping in general is, I think, a silly practice. Especially considering some of the tactics that restaurants are using nowadays, like tip pooling. I’m definitely in favor of a built-in service charge.

That’s certainly an approach that some places should take. I still think 15% is the standard minimum, though my sense of server empathy won’t often allow me to tip less than 20. If every server got 15% of the bill, most of them would be doing much better—I think…

A friend of mine who worked as a waitress in Grand Rapids said the after-church crowd was the worst. She had a pastor who would come in every Sunday and leave her a nickel for a tip. Our church does conferences for pastors and church leaders and we’ve actually gotten complaints from local restaurants about the lousy tips they leave! Now we make announcements at every conference reminding our guests that Jesus would tip his server.

I’d like to say I’m shocked, but unfortunately, I’ve known many a member of my church when I was growing up who expressed these stingy sentiments. Not all of them, mind you, but there were pockets of people who thought this way.

That said, I think I learned more about the concept of generosity from Sunday School than from anywhere else.

A few weeks ago, one of the ladies in my classes who works as a TGIF waitress told me that 20% is the standard nowadays, which seems pretty high if you’re stingy, but I suppose makes sense.
Is that in Philly? Because Philly was rated as the best tipping town in the land at about 19% I believe. I think the story was in the Inky over the summer.