the smedley log - suburban scrawl

Someone needs to speak with this guy

Dan Rubin capsulizes sentiment in reaction to the Brett Myers’ domestic violence story quite well. He ends his post with the line I adopted as this post’s title, which is just a small, small part of what Jim Salisbury had to say about it.

Seeing stories like this (and they are in no way rare) always leaves me a little befuddled. Of all the charges that seem rotate on the sports wires in recent years, domestic violence seems to be among the top two or three. And I’m completely aware that enforcement of the relevant laws isn’t exactly ideal even when dealing with Joe Wifebeater down the street, but it seems like in addition to the better lawyering they enjoy, professional athletes suffer nearly no professional consequence as a result of this particular infraction.

And in the limited social conscience of our collective sportsfandom, the stink of what should be a cardinal sin doesn’t seem to stay in our nostrils very long. Some of the biggest stars in the sporting world have had their names mentioned in connection with allegations of spousal abuse. It’s always possible that allegations like these could be false, but let’s imagine, for a minute, that all of them are well-witnessed (as was the case with the events on a Boston street corner involving Mr. and Mrs. Myers).

Does Major League Baseball need to do more? Do sports leagues in general need to be more active in speaking out (in both words and actions) toward domestic violence? Yes on both counts, in my opinion. At the very least, it might be nice to see a program that mandates a paid suspension upon being charged, coupled with the possibility of later losing the accompanying pay as well, should the charges be upheld in court.

But perhaps what’s most jarring is the inability of a professional athlete to process the situation well enough to know how not to respond when being asked whether he was embarrassed by the situation. The response of Brett Myers to this relative softball question: “I’m sorry it had to get public, that’s it. Of course, it’s embarrassing.”

Kind of says it all.

The thing that gets me about this mess is that his wife is the one who put up the $200 and bailed his abusive ass out of jail. Yes, I know somebody would have bailed him out eventually, but she didn’t have to make it quite so easy on him. I don’t come from an abusive background, so I don’t claim to get it, but that just fuels my anger.

I know that women tolerate abuse for many reasons, but the reason of economics should have to be off the table in this case.

But yeah, dude just doesn’t get it. And I don’t know how you force him to.

Sadly, I think economics is a big part of why celebrity wives might bail their husbands out (either by putting up cash or by taking back the accusations, which tends to happen a lot, no matter what the demographic).

I really believe there’s something with the way we treat star athletes from the time they’re young that either allows or possibly even encourages this sickening brand of narcissism.

What bugs me about it the more I re-read that one quote is the idea that he’s only embarrassed that it became public, and it makes me wonder whom exactly he might blame for that – because it just doesn’t sound like he’s much into blaming himself.

Scanned the article briefly – kids.

Frequently, women with kids who are abused and who believe their kids aren’t (which might be true for now – ages are 3 & 1) feel like they are doing their best for the children economically and socially by staying. Sometimes when/if (note the order) the abuse to the kids happens, they’ll continue to rationalize on those grounds or perhaps find new ones, sometimes they’ll snap out of it and finally leave. Sometimes these women grew up where that was the norm anyway so a relationship like that one “feels” normal. That may also be the case for him as well.

Ecomomics is NOT off the table for the wife of a man with money unless she has her own. If the man has the money: [1] who knows what’s in the prenup (if existing) [2] it’s still (should versus is doesn’t count here) HIS money, and do you think he’ll spring for a decent lawyer for her? Don’t count on him being asshole enough to hit her but gentlemanly enough to play fair in divorce. She’d likely be annihilated in court with minimal child support and minimal to no spousal support.

That being said does NOT excuse any of it, it makes it more abhorrant. Am assuming due to his societal status that he’s not hitting the kids at this juncture, but the odds are that he’ll start unless something happens soon. And as sad as this seems with hitting a wife in public, the same blind eye will probably occur when it’s the kids – especially if he gets more famous – bruising, etc will be ignored by teachers and officials because they won’t want to piss off a parent (and if one speaks up the rest will silent)

And there will always be people who cheer when he plays.

I just did the Philly Futue poll and almost made the comment there, but feel it may be safer here – he’d probably suffer more professional/image damage if he were caught in a PDA with a man than hitting his wife in public – THAT would probably be considered more of a career-ender. Horrifying realization I had as I was thinking of the “let the system tend to it” mentality.

It’s a very sad story, one that I tried to portray in this original song:

Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones
words and music by Dr. BLT (c)2006
http://www.drblt.com/music/MRSJones.mp3

Bruce
aka Dr. BLT, The Original Blog ‘n’ Roller

The link above has changed. The new link is:

Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones
words and music by Dr. BLT (c)2006
http://www.drblt.com/music/MRSJones.mp3

Bruce
aka Dr. BLT, The Original Blog ‘n’ Roller

I can’t believe I gave you exactly the same wrong link again. Sorry. Here’s the new one:

Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones
words and music by Dr. BLT (c)2006
http://www.drblt.net/music/MRSJones.mp3

The .dom is now a .net

This is also true of my website, which is now:

http://www.drblt.net