the smedley log - suburban scrawl

A Poem About My Uncle

A Poem About my Uncle
by Daniel Nicoloso

My dear old Uncle Howard,
He’s quite a camera guy.
You must beware that look,
That he gets into his eye.
It’s the sign it’s time to fly, fly, fly

He meanders ‘bout the house
Shooting me and all my siblings
Whether munching at our lunches,
Or immersed in petty quiblings

We must beware the sound
Of that zooming camera scope
Hearing it’s
Our last little bit of hope,
To hide behind a curtain, a table or a bed
Or maybe, just maybe do something else instead.
We could come out of our hiding,
Standing straight and tall,
Like a military person,
Backed up against a wall.

Personally I think, I’d stare him in the face
And think to myself, “Oh, what a futile chase.”
The flash would sound
And the tables turn ‘round.
And suddenly I am still,
Upon his window sill, sill, sill…

I’m standing still and not quite harmed,
Though he be deadly armed,
He chuckles and walks away,
He lives to shoot another day,
My dear old Uncle Howard,
He’s quite a camera guy

Skittish little things

Oh, the things that have flitted across my mind in the past day or so.

An Iranian newspaper, in its own brazen exercise of “free speech”, is soliciting caricatures related to the holocaust. A soundbite I heard on the radio had a former Iranian ambassador to the UN explaining how much worse it was to depict Mohammed in a cartoon than it is to poke fun at the historical slaughter of millions.

It occurred to me while listening to this man: by painting the Mohammed depictions as substantially more offensive than scoffing at the holocaust, he may have been trying to explain in advance the lack of violent protest that is likely to result from whatever holocaust cartoons come of this amazingly stupid idea. You know, something along the lines of, “See? If holocaust caricatures were anywhere near as bad as Mohammed caricatures, we’d have had Jewish people firebombing the Saudi Embassy in New York…”

Then there was the hunting accident with the Vice-President in Texas, but unlike whatever bird Mr. Cheney was trying to nail, that whole situation seems like too easy a target.

And on a topic only tangentially related to the last item, I recall the excited throng of conservatives who trumpeted the American Bar Association’s rating of Judge Alito. I fully expect the same people to be nodding in agreement with the ABA opinion on the NSA warrantless wiretap program.

Oh, and by the way—Villanova beat top-ranked Connecticut last night. Shades of 1985, when I was still young and full of hope…

Strained explanations, cartoonish debates and zebra issues

Just a couple snippets from my dial-up dungeon:

I’ll begin with Arlen Specter offering his two cents on warrantless surveillance, which gave me some sliver of hope that these hearings won’t just be another yes-man forum in our post-9/11 world.*

And then there was Christopher Hitchens writing about the Muslim cartoon controversy. I have to admit I share some of his discomfort surrounding the statement of our government on this front. Are we not allowed to make critical commentary on religion, or is it just “unacceptable”—and what does that mean exactly? **

And then there was the extra-large football game. I’ll confess that I didn’t have a clear rooting interest, so it was hard to be thrilled with any outcome. That said, I feel a little happy for guys like Bill Cowher and Jerome Bettis, even if the game showcased some glaring zebra defficiencies along the way—I’m always left a little unsettled when bad calls play a big part in deciding games.

*Chris seems less optimistic about Specter.

**Cziltang has thoughts on the ‘toon controversy here and here. In addition, The Philadelphia Inquirer (one of very few U.S. newspapers to publish any of the aforementioned cartoons) carried this op-ed on 2/05/06.

On being an at&t customer, weighing wiretaps, etc.

I am an at&t customer, and apparently, there could be something in it for me. Hmmm.

And now that I’ve peripherally referenced the debate on warrantless wireta… er, domestic spy… er, “terrorist surveillance” program (yeah, that does sound better), I’ll just wade in a bit further here.

Maybe it’s okay for the government to be spying on domestic-based phone calls and such—I’m not against security, though I’m far from convinced that (a) the program is as legally sound as the President makes it out to be, and (b) equally effective results couldn’t be had with fewer cut corners. But if we are going to have our government snooping around domestically, can we at least have oversight?

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